Chapter 1 – The Latest Debacle

“What is persistence?”, he asked when I asked him the reason behind his attitude towards everything. He has always been persistent in everything regardless of the outcomes. Always adamant on getting the results that are not only right, but also sometimes not in his control. Naturally, I tried asking him again, “Why are you always trying to make everything perfect?”. This time, he paused and stared at me before replying. His gaze was patient, yet it made me uncomfortable. “Perfection is subjective. What is perfect for me, may not be perfect for you”. He looked away and spoke slowly, “We all work for what seems right to us. Sometimes, we get what we want”.

This statement obviously raised more questions than it had answered. Instantly, I leaned closer and asked, “What about the times we don’t get what we want?” He seemed annoyed by the question, as if I had asked something strange. There was a silence. I looked at him intently, but his expressions were painful. He shrugged suddenly and took a deep breath. He gave me a melancholy look, smiled and spoke softly, “Then you get what you deserved all along … ” The smile faded slowly and he closed his eyes as he added, “…something a lot better hopefully”. I knew I couldn’t badger him any further with my questions although I was growing impatient to learn more. I looked at him and my mind kept stirring.

But this is what I learnt from him that day; When you heal others and let them know you will always be there no matter what, they often take you for granted. That is perhaps the truest of all tests. A person who does not value you at their strongest, does not deserve you. Sometimes people put the blame on others so they don’t have to feel guilty for what they did to them. I understood that when people say something, they don’t always mean it. Not everyone is like how you are. Everybody has their own agenda in everything they do. The only person who really should matter to you, is yourself. People become strangers when words spoken have no meaning. There is nothing one can do to make anyone stay. The only person who truly stays with you and deserves all your love, is yourself.