Chapter 2 – The Recovery

How does one recover from a debacle ? Especially, one concerning losing people you care about for no apparent reasons ? Why is such loss difficult for one, but seems so easy for the other? A swarm of thoughts and questions kept circling his mind. A person who cares, and loves unconditionally, can never really forget those they once cared for. “I learnt that you should walk away from people who use the entirety of all their issues to measure every single thing you say or do and let their past shape your relationship with them. Love is not about healing others. It’s about loving them regardless” He a said with a calm tone. He sat down on a bench besides the walking track and was not bothered by the wind ruffling his hair.

Recovery to some extent, however does come with time. You can heal, but the scars always remain.  The road to recovery starts from forgetting everything you were told about yourself and venturing on to find who you were, before it all happened. Recovery is about being yourself again, loving yourself again and prioritizing yourself again. Recovery is all about staying true to who you are and always were. It is about learning from your mistakes. It is about using  how others treat you to grow as a human. It is about not letting the cruelty of others and this world shape you. What I have found is that, recovery begins at forgiveness and it takes place at self-realization, and ends at growth. The process is not easy and it takes time. It is, however something we all must do to create a better space for ourselves and the people around us. The little acts of kindness, the mere effort put in bringing about smiles, the simple joy of giving – all these things become a part of a person who has forgiven, realized self and in turn grown. The pointless noise of the world no longer excites them. They exhibit a positive energy. They start doing things they have always wanted to, breaking the imaginary chains they put on themselves for the sake of others. They become fearless and independent of everything and everyone. They become enough for themselves and this very feeling makes them content and happy. They become Indifferent of the anything abstract or concrete and nothing can disturb their peace.

He has reached that milestone. Recollecting all his mistakes, learning from them, realizing his self-worth and being aware of himself. He has grown. In all the turmoil, he has found his strength and he has overcome the vast mountains set before him. It has been a while since he has been this focused. His belief in building things with his own effort has never been stronger. He has given up finding good hearts. He wants his life to be about him and the greater good and about spending his time and effort in making this world a better place by practicing small, everyday deeds of kindness, generosity and humanity . Perhaps, I cannot comprehend this any better, but I believe he has found his road.

Chapter 1 – The Latest Debacle

“What is persistence?”, he asked when I asked him the reason behind his attitude towards everything. He has always been persistent in everything regardless of the outcomes. Always adamant on getting the results that are not only right, but also sometimes not in his control. Naturally, I tried asking him again, “Why are you always trying to make everything perfect?”. This time, he paused and stared at me before replying. His gaze was patient, yet it made me uncomfortable. “Perfection is subjective. What is perfect for me, may not be perfect for you”. He looked away and spoke slowly, “We all work for what seems right to us. Sometimes, we get what we want”.

This statement obviously raised more questions than it had answered. Instantly, I leaned closer and asked, “What about the times we don’t get what we want?” He seemed annoyed by the question, as if I had asked something strange. There was a silence. I looked at him intently, but his expressions were painful. He shrugged suddenly and took a deep breath. He gave me a melancholy look, smiled and spoke softly, “Then you get what you deserved all along … ” The smile faded slowly and he closed his eyes as he added, “…something a lot better hopefully”. I knew I couldn’t badger him any further with my questions although I was growing impatient to learn more. I looked at him and my mind kept stirring.

But this is what I learnt from him that day; When you heal others and let them know you will always be there no matter what, they often take you for granted. That is perhaps the truest of all tests. A person who does not value you at their strongest, does not deserve you. Sometimes people put the blame on others so they don’t have to feel guilty for what they did to them. I understood that when people say something, they don’t always mean it. Not everyone is like how you are. Everybody has their own agenda in everything they do. The only person who really should matter to you, is yourself. People become strangers when words spoken have no meaning. There is nothing one can do to make anyone stay. The only person who truly stays with you and deserves all your love, is yourself.